I Should Win the 'Most Forgetful Blogger EVER' award

Yes. I forgot to blog twice last week. And once this week. And this is the first time I've even thought about it!
I blame Rick Riordan. I was reading The Last Olympian.
See, usually I have a pretty passive relationship with reading. But when I start a book that I really like, I will cut off most other activities and just read. I did this with the Hunger Games as well (it took me less than two days to read that book). And so, with the final installment of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series in hand, I forgot about blogging.
That doesn't excuse last Monday, though. Oh well. I'll find an excuse for Monday later. And then I'll find an excuse for not finding and excuse for Monday now.
Anyway, forgetfulness is not my only reason for posting.

THIS is my other reason. Now, I would've uploaded a photo of myself to show you my beard and 'stache (which can only be seen with microscopic vision) but I forgot. And so I will accept this...this insult, from Scott of Ergo Humour. I swear, if a blogospheric war ever breaks out, I'm joining the side he's not on.
Anyway, apparently the package comes with instructions.
I. Thank the person who insulted you. Or 'awarded' you. Whichever you prefer to call it. Thank you, Scott. Does this mean you have to thank me for the assassin I just sent for you?
II. Place the logo on your blog. I did that. And no small amount of internal conflict preceded that decision, believe me.
III. Link to your nemesis. Unless your nemesis didn't give you this award. In that case, link to the person who gave you the 'award.'
IV. List up to six outrageous lies about yourself and at least one outrageous truthful account. Very well. Excuse me for a second while I breathe deeply and switch into outrageous liar mode (Oh yes, there's a mode) 1) I have actually painted myself with woad and charged naked (Picts ftw, baby!) at people.
2) I own four swords ranging from the mid ninteenth century to the early twentieth century, and have wounded myself on accident with all of them.
3) I once filled my own nostrils with plumbers putty.
4) I once filled someone else's nostrils with plumber's putty.
5) I have actually plotted out a plan to take over the world using plumber's putty.
6) I have seriously considered editing the Wikipedia article on Plumber's putty to include that people sometimes use plumbers putty to seal their nostrils, or, more rarely, take over the world.
7) I have used moldy donuts as weapons.
8) I have killed small woodland creatures just to try and teach the attracted ravens to say 'Nevermore.'
9) Plumber's putty.
Anyway, I'm having too much fun with that lying business (but there are several truth's mixed in there) so I'll continue.
Next on the list of instructions:
V. Insult seven other bloggers by calling them bald-faced liars. Alrighty.
1) Zella at Zella Kate and Grammatically Motivated.
2) Kevin at Crazy and Crazier Thoughts of Kevin.
3) Arnorris at The Norris Ranch.
4) Mercwriter at Merc Rants.
5) Plumber's putty.
6) Plumbers.
7) Putty.
Those last three were because A) I love plumber's putty, and B) Most of you have been tagged already anyway!

(Please remember to vote on the poll at the bottom of the page, by the by)

Stony Pastries and Their Military Uses

Ye cods. I just apologized for getting a post in late and then I forget again on Monday! What an irresponsible nincompoop I am!

...I like the word nincompoop. Sounds like the name of some sort of pie. Except, now that I think about it, it would probably be a horribly disgusting sort of pie.

It is a mildly intriguing concept, though. It would be far more devastating as a throwing weapon than any other kind of pie. Except, perhaps, a rock pie. That would be very deadly. And pretty easy to bake, as well.

Although, if one is going to throw rocks at somebody, why wrap them up in dough and stick them in the oven first? I mean, a pebble crumble I can understand, being a deceptively tasty-looking means of braking one's enemies' teeth, but you can't even slice into a rock pie. Of course, it is the same with a boulder torte. But that is a wholly different matter. One can drop a boulder torte on one of one's enemies' heads with devastating results.

Although I suppose a rock pie could be used as a shield or a bludgeon, if one was desperate. But if one cannot throw a rock pie at one's enemies when one's enemies are at sufficient distance (and not out of range of one's throwing arm) then, in my opinion, one is a nincompoop.