Things to Ponder--Soylent Green

Hello friends! So with the new schedule, I'll be introducing several series' of posts. The first:

Things To Ponder. Most Mondays (not all Mondays, I can't guarantee a stupid question every week :P), to start the week off, there'll be a rather daft question I'm going to ask myself. Asking stupid questions is normal for me, so I'll be doing these the most regularly ;)

The question Spammy will ask himself over and over throughout the week of 1-25/31-10 is...

Did the person who thought up the saying 'You are what you eat' know about Soylent Green?

No, seriously, it's kind of creepy thinking they meant that literally, right? I think it's some sort of conspiracy. I mean, what if Richard Fleischer and Harry Harrison went back in time to...uh...whenever that saying was made, and told people to start saying that? It's scary! What if they went forward in time and told everyone 'You are what you eat' and the people started eating each other? The future doesn't look so good.

Hmmm...well, the year 2022 is coming pretty soon, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see...but if you see Richard Fleischer and Harry Harrison, don't hesitate to shoot them.

A most wonderful announcement!

Alrighty, friends, I have an announcement.

I don't know about you, but I'm fed up with the haphazard, once-or-twice-a-month, stupid, utterly retarded posting habits of that person, who was he now...oh yeah, me. Yeah.

Well anyway, I've just about had enough of him, so here's what I'm gonna do:

NEWWWWWW SCHEDULE! YEEHAW!

Starting Monday the 25th of January, Year of Our Lord 2010, Vintage Spammy will have three bright, shiny new posts every week. On monday, wednesday and friday, with the addition of the occasional announcement, which will be thrown in any-old-how (so as not to hamper the humor).

Hopefully I'll be able to bring in more followers (this and other ways) and if I get enough, I'll be featuring a contributer post once a month! Wouldn't that be cool! So, (puts on Hollywood smile and horn-rimmed glasses) tell all your friends about it, and tell them to tell their friends about it and we'll all be happy for ever and ever for just $29.99! (removes glasses)

So anyway, just wanted to let you all in on the bright new future that approaches.

My Country 'Tis of Thee...

...Sweet land of Nerdity,

Of thee I sing;

Land wher noob pplz died,

Land of the gamers pride,

From every mountainside

Let nerdiness ring!

How many ways can you spell it? Nerd, nurd, knurd, gnurd! Our country is rapidly turning into a nerd nation (or, perhaps, knurd knation). Everywhere you look you see braces, glasses, and acne! And bacne, too, except you can't see that. Nerds practically rule America, and we can do nothing to stop it!

A distressing turn of events has been leading up to this post; France has offered to give us a new statue to replace the Statue of Liberty (her name, "Lady Nerdity" pictured to the side), the newest Blockbuster is entitled "Planet of the Nerds," and the new urban fantasy bestseller(Nerdlight, by Stefan E. Myer)--featuring Dwilla Wan and Ned Woolen--is about how a teenage girl goes to a weird little town in tenessee somewhere and falls in love with a nerd!

The Ku Klux Klan has even changed their policies and now not only lynch black peoples, but nerds as well.

Dark times, these, for I, too, am a nerd, and I fear for my life. It used to be that nerds were a few, elect people, and now they cover the nation. I was born a nerd, and I believe the huge expansion of nerds nationwide has brought this upon us. Whatever happened to we few, we happy few, we band of nerdy brothers(speech given by King Nerdy V before the charge of the Cool Persons Club of some city in Oregon)?

And what is to become of us, the nerds of america, who are in danger for our very lives? Should we band together to march on the whitehouse for nerds rights? Should we cower in our dark bedrooms and hope that we won't be lynched? Should we hide our nerdiness and go out into the social world as spies? It truly is the coming of the apocalypse when nerds cannot roam the streets.