Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Hey Honey, Let's move to Flying Wombat, Tenessee!

I hear the strangest things sometimes...quite often when I'm sitting at the computer, I'll hear something like "Gahh! Arielle[my two year old sister], what are you doing? Rubbing your butt and then touching my hair?!" or "The cracks of doom? The bowels of Oroduin? Sounds like one big arse to me."
But perhaps the strangest thing I've ever heard was the other day...
My dad and my mom were hunched over a laptop, looking at something which--due to their bodies--I couldn't see. Then I heard my dad say "So, yeah, there's this great little town in oregon--" At this point I must tell you they are discussing moving, because they want to--"it's called..."
"Government camp?" my mom says, "Oh yeah, that sounds like a great place to move! 'Hey where do you live?'" she mocks, "'Oh, I live in Government camp.' The very sound makes me think of striped uniforms and POW's. We might as well move to Raton New Mexico! Who want's to live in 'Big Rat' or, almost as bad, Government camp?"
And then she goes crazy. "'Hey honey, lets move to Phlegm Lake! Or maybe Vomit Bowl Valley! Or howabout..."
And she goes on with names that have something to do with feces or rodents.
In the end, my dad decided maybe he didn't want to live in Government Camp.
Yeah, my family is weird. It takes all I've got to stay alive ;)

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Story behind The Blog

Okay, so I bet your wondering why it's called 'Vintage Spammy', right? So here's the story...
Many aeons before the dawn of civalization and all that crap, there was an ancient and primeval and primordial being. They called him...
Wait a second, who's they? I thought there was no-one around yet? Dang
Once upon a time--
Hold the phone! That is THE most hackneyed way to start a story! Your gonna have to do better than that to get famous!
Hackneyed sells. Live with it.
Once upon a time, in a land very far away--
Shut up.
Once upon a time, in a land very far away, there was a little kingdom called...
You aren't going to tell them the true story, hmmm?
Sigh. Whatever. I guess I'll have to now.
Okay so I like to write. And I am a member of multiple sites that are supposed to help me with my writing. One day my brother, Scott--he likes to write as well--joins this one writing site. He says it's really cool, and so I try to join. It didn't work. So then the next day he says I should join. I told him I had tried. And it hadn't worked.
But he keeps bugging me so I whipped out the ultimate guy response.
"Okay, I'll show you!" I said.
"Okay, show me." Scott said.
So I go to the website and I click the 'Sign up' button. I type in my name and what I want as a username--and, being stupid, I typed in 'Spammy' saying "Even a name like this, that couldn't possibly be taken, wouldn't work."--and clicked the submit button.
Guess what? It worked! Phooie. But, again, being stupid, I actually used the account. So there you have it. The epic saga of my username. Rank up there with Beowulf? Definately not. Gives a great example of my usual brain functions? Yep.
By the way, like the pic? I call it the "V S shield."