Things to Ponder--Things to Ponder

How am I ever going to think up a blog post today?

Yep. That's what I'm pondering right about now. And it doesn't help that my brain wants a vacation for this week. I guess I might make one up as I go along...

--PREPARE FOR STUPIDITY--

I think the main reason I can never think up a blog post when I want to is because of the evil laughter I keep hearing, ringing in my ears. You know of tinnitis? Well, it's sort of like that. Except instead of ringing, I hear laughter. Evil laughter. And I have no idea why. Maybe it's because I'm always laughing evilly, but I really doubt it. Highly improbable, don't you know.

I also see strange images of a person who I cannot recognize, but looks extremely familiar, whenever I enter the bathroom. He appears on these odd-shaped sheets of reflective material that I see every time I walk into a restroom. I can't quite recognize his face, but I know I've seen him before. He mocks me, mimicking my movements and mouthing every word I say. It's terrible! And he's always laughing evilly, too. I don't know why.

This is having a terribly detrimental effect on my blogging. I simply cannot go on! Maybe I should stop going to the bathroom. Although that would be hard. And potentially very disgusting. I know! I'll blindfold myself whenever I'm going to go into a bathroom! Maybe I'll mimick him mimicking me! Ooh. But that could get complicated. Then he'd mimick me mimicking him mimicking me. And that wouldn't really make any sense.

Things to Ponder--Toothbrushes

Why don't you ever hear about toothbrush models?

I mean, if you went outside today you probably saw a car or someone with a cellphone. And that car or cellphone had a model. People are constantly talking about these models. If you have a Ferrari 612 Scaglietti or and iPhone, you're instantly cool (and quite probably you're financially well off). If you have an Toyota Prius or a Motorola Droid you're pretty cool. But what about if you have an Oral-B Triumph? Or an Aquafresh Gel-Flex?

People often argue about what models of cars or phones or whatever are better. You could often hear a conversation like this:

First Guy: Duuuuuuude, Ferrari's are soooo much better!

Second Guy: Aston Martin pwns Ferrari, man!

First Guy: No way! Ferrari!

Second Guy: Aston Martin!

First Guy: Ferrari!

Second Guy: ASTON MARTIN!

First Guy: FERRRRRRAAAARRRRRRIIIIIIIII!

(Third Guy walks up)

Third Guy: Dudes, you're both wrong. iPhones are teh pwnxorx.

First Guy: ...

Second Guy: Dude, you're waaay out of it.

But you'd never hear a conversation like this:

First Guy: Oh dude! Have you seen the new Oral-B Triumph?

Second Guy: Yeah.

First Guy: Isn't it the most awesomist thing ever?

Second Guy: Nah.

First Guy: What? It's soooooo cool!

Second Guy: The Aquafresh Gel-Flex is cooler.

First Guy: No way! Oral-B rocks!

Second Guy: Aquafresh kicks butt!

First Guy: Oral-B kicks more butt!
Second Guy: No it doesn't! Oral-B sucks pond scum!

First Guy: ORAL-B IS SO MUCH MORE AWESOME THAN YOU OR YOUR AQUAFRESH!

Second Guy: NO! ITS! NOOOOOOOOTTTTT!

And of course, haha, all this arguing over whether the Oral-B Triumph or the Aquafresh Gel-Flex is cooler is silly and I'd never take part in it...

...Because I have a Colgate 360.

Things to Ponder--Soylent Green

Hello friends! So with the new schedule, I'll be introducing several series' of posts. The first:

Things To Ponder. Most Mondays (not all Mondays, I can't guarantee a stupid question every week :P), to start the week off, there'll be a rather daft question I'm going to ask myself. Asking stupid questions is normal for me, so I'll be doing these the most regularly ;)

The question Spammy will ask himself over and over throughout the week of 1-25/31-10 is...

Did the person who thought up the saying 'You are what you eat' know about Soylent Green?

No, seriously, it's kind of creepy thinking they meant that literally, right? I think it's some sort of conspiracy. I mean, what if Richard Fleischer and Harry Harrison went back in time to...uh...whenever that saying was made, and told people to start saying that? It's scary! What if they went forward in time and told everyone 'You are what you eat' and the people started eating each other? The future doesn't look so good.

Hmmm...well, the year 2022 is coming pretty soon, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see...but if you see Richard Fleischer and Harry Harrison, don't hesitate to shoot them.