Monday, June 14, 2010

The Attic

On Friday I was in the Attic a bunch (but I didn't blog about it then, because I was so stoked over defeating the Anti-Punctuality Demon) and you would not believe our attic.
Some people have nice little attics filled with old heirlooms and memories and things. Some people have musty old attics they never go into. Some people have attics that don't exist.
Our attic isn't like any of those.
First of all, you can't step on the floor.
This isn't because it's covered with clutter or something, It's actually quite barren. No, you can't step on it because if you do you'll fall through it and then fall fifteen feet to the concrete floor of the garage. You can only step on the sparse two-by-fours that serve as supports for the floor (thank god they're exposed)
Next, believe it or not, the ceiling is covered with nails, whose points are sticking downward.
And then, to add insult to injury (almost literally) there's no lights or windows.
Sounds like a jolly place, right? Every time I go in there I feel like I'm in an Indiana Jones movie. 'Indiana Jones and the Attic of Collapsing Floors' or some such.
What's your attic like? Is it dark and musty, or it is nonexistent? Is it worthy of a horror story in it's honor?
(Please remember to vote on the poll at the bottom of the page)


  1. wow. that attic would suck. I dont think my house has an attic. but there is a small square opening in the ceiling of my room. I think there is a crawl space or something there. I dont know for sure.

  2. That's ~exactly~ what our attic is like! Not surprising, considering the house building codes in our state, but still, cool! Except we also have fluffy fiberglass everywhere, and if you let the cat up by accident you have to chase him down with a wash cloth and wash all the fiberglass fibers off. But I rarely venture up there, it's typically over 100 degrees, and you need a ladder to access it.

  3. @Amarantha--Ooh, that sounds interesting. You just kind of...disappear into the ceiling of your room!
    @Feathers--The other attic (the one above the house rather than the garage) is filled with fiberglass! Nobody ever goes up there, though. We don't have a ladder built in for that one (we do for the garage one) and we don't keep anything up there. And our cats run up into the garage attic all the time! Ugh! It's so hard to find them up there, while dodging nails and floors.

  4. That sounds like a terrific attic!!!!! It sounds positively medieval. All you need is maybe some exposed electrical wires and a rat skeleton. Keep working on it, Spammy! :) And while you're at it, I'd like someone to explain to me why it is that the living spaces we build for ourselves must include space that isn't liveable. I'm sure there's a scientific principle involved? Switching gears for a moment, could the attic be a metaphor for the subconscious mind, the part of yourself that's still yours but you can't really go there (of course it has to be filled with cats, what else would you expect?) Somebody else can explore that one. I'll wait downstairs. ^.-

  5. @spammy I've never actually gone up there. my older sister said she had gone up there and that it's just a small area. If I can find a ladder, I should go up there just to see what is up there.

    I just thought that you and Scott could do a video in the attic for a spoof type thing of Indiana Jones. (assuming the floor is sturdy enough to support you and it's safe)

  6. Der! I forgot to tell you about my attic. It's actually quite dull. Unless you have a thing for insulation. Then it could be very interesting, I guess. =] Spammy you never said what makes you go in your attic? Is it to find the cats?

  7. @Amarantha--Hey! That's a great idea! It would make a great movie trailer. :D I'll suggest that to Scott (No, the floor is not sturdy enough to support us, but there are a few boards you can step on)
    @Eric--Oh, actually, Eric, I went up there Questing for a Mystic Piece of Broken Glass to Show the Window Guy What Kind of Windows We Had :D

  8. Oh, a quest! That makes the whole thing even cooler, especially since broken glass is involved. Thanks, Spammy. Great post.


Please do not expectorate on this web page. Thank you.