Monday, February 8, 2010

A Valentines Day Post a Week Early...

...because I'm lazy and thats the only thing I can think of to blog about.
I have an extensive collection of valentine gifts, stored for that special someone, when the time comes. One of them has anthrax in it. Several of them have hidden poison darts that shoot out when they're opened. Some have hidden razors along the edges, and heart-shaped ninja stars, in case they get any farther than that.
There are all sorts of quixotic cards I use. And the wonderful thing is, I don't even have to write anything in them, because it wouldn't really matter, if you know what I mean.
Sometimes I really get into the spirit of the season and go around naked with a bow and arrows, shooting people through their hearts in the name of love. Although I don't often do that. It's a little embarrassing. And doesn't look so good on a resume, either.
But of course, not all of my collection are for assassination. I've been known to go around on Valentine's day and give out candies with messages on them that say something like "I'd write you a love note on this, but there wasn't enough room." or "I decided not to kill you this Valentine's Day. But don't relax yet. Presidents' Day is tomorrow..." in very small type.


  1. Good thing I never saw you naked with a bow...I don't think I'd be able to survive the encounter.

  2. Oh, your poor brain and the things that come out of it... :D

  3. @Scott--You probably wouldn't be able to. So just be wary if you see me sporting a kewpie doll hair-do ;)

    @Paul--Oh, I manage. The things that come out of my brain are always better than the ones that choose to stay inside ;)

  4. I do not, I repeat, I do not want to see you playing Cupid. *recoils* However, I would gladly buy some of those cards. I am not a big Valentine's Day fan. It's too sappy for my taste. Your cards seem to remedy that. ^^

  5. Understandably so, Zella :P Not many people do want to see me play cupid. And not many people live to talk about it ;)


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