The Battle of the Bedroom

Spammy slaps his alarm clock. It says "Ow! I'm just trying to help you!"
"Yeah, well, if you really wanna help..." Spammy rubs his eyes and looks at the alarm clock. He eyes bulge. "Then don't wake me up at two forty-one in the afternoon!" He grabs the alarm clock and shakes it. "What's wrong with you? Can't you tell time?"
"Umm, well," The clock squirms in Spammy's grip. "I might have been reset, umm...while I was asleep?"
"Traitor!" Spammy throws the clock across the room."Treasonous bass-turd!"
"Resorting t' euphemisms, are we, brother spammy?" A sulfurous voice says from behind Spammy.
Spammy whirls. "You. It was you! Ghhhhhhaaaaagahhhhhhhrrrr!" Spammy leaps on top of the seven-foot-six-inch tall demon.
The anti-punctuality demon roars and throws Spammy across the room , hurling a five-foot flaming cheese curl after him.
Spammy rolls aside as the cheese curl starts the wall paper and carpet on fire. Spammy grabs a vuvuzela and charges the demon, swinging the horrendous instrument at the demon's head.
As the vuvuzela connects with the demon's head it snaps into three pieces. "Arrrgh! Dame safety precautions!" Spammy drops the now-useless piece of plastic. The demon advances on Spammy, the light from the spreading fire glinting in his dark eyes.
Spammy leaps over his bed and runs to the bookshelf, hurling flaming book after flaming book at the demon. The demon knocks them aside and jumps over the bed.
"Take the sword of the spirit, hell spawn!" Spammy takes a huge, flaming bible from the bookshelf and chucks it at the demon.The demon catches it between the eyes and staggers backward, tripping over the bed.
"Hah!" Spammy says, grabbing an umbrella and chucking it at the defenseless demon, just for good measure. He leaps over the demon's motionless body and runs out of the fiery bedroom, laughing maniacally.