A Critical Analysis of the Wizard of Oz.

The Wizard of Oz...one of the first movies to be in color. A classic, based on the book by L. Frank Baum. Old movie. And yet not without its faults, either.

There are some major problems with it. Of course, I might just being pedantic.

1. Isn't it kind of a deus ex machina that the house managed to land on the wicked witch of the east, but not squash her slippers, and be undamaged? And not to mention it doesn't hurt any munchkins.

2. If Glinda could magically transfer the ruby slippers from the wicked witch of the east's feet to Dorothy's, did she magically transfer the witch's wallet from the witch's pocket to her own? (Not really an error there, but an interesting prospect...)

3. Very shortly after her journey has started, she meets three people, and they're headed for the Emerald city to find a heart (for the tin man) a brain (for the scarecrow) and some courage (for the lion). But I'm assuming the scarecrow and the tin man know that the lion had both heart and brain, so why continue on a silly quest with an easily-scared lion?

4. Why doesn't the tin man take his hatchet with him? I'm assuming he could use a weapon?

5. Where are you going to find lions, tigers and bears in the same forest?

6. Monkeys are much lighter than humans. How could they carry Dorothy?

7. If the witch can be dissolved by water, does that mean she never took a bath? Or a shower? The Winkies must have been horrified by the stench.

I think I am being a little too pedantic. But I had to vent it on something.

A Valentines Day Post a Week Early...

...because I'm lazy and thats the only thing I can think of to blog about.

I have an extensive collection of valentine gifts, stored for that special someone, when the time comes. One of them has anthrax in it. Several of them have hidden poison darts that shoot out when they're opened. Some have hidden razors along the edges, and heart-shaped ninja stars, in case they get any farther than that.

There are all sorts of quixotic cards I use. And the wonderful thing is, I don't even have to write anything in them, because it wouldn't really matter, if you know what I mean.

Sometimes I really get into the spirit of the season and go around naked with a bow and arrows, shooting people through their hearts in the name of love. Although I don't often do that. It's a little embarrassing. And doesn't look so good on a resume, either.

But of course, not all of my collection are for assassination. I've been known to go around on Valentine's day and give out candies with messages on them that say something like "I'd write you a love note on this, but there wasn't enough room." or "I decided not to kill you this Valentine's Day. But don't relax yet. Presidents' Day is tomorrow..." in very small type.

Searching for enlightenment...

There is an enigma in this universe of ours...

...a question many have died trying to answer...

...a question which may never truly be answered, for lack of courage...

...lack of seekers of knowledge...

...and lack of guts to ask it.

Why are bald guys' heads so shiny? No, seriously. As you can see, Patrick Stewart is bald, or follicly challenged, if you prefer. But whatever you call it, his head is real shiny.

I mean, sitting in church last Sunday I saw, sitting four or five pews ahead, a rather elderly, follicly challenged man. And his head was so shiny! I had to avert my eyes to keep from going blind! How did it get so shiny? Does he polish it every morning? He had to be using sand paper or something, it was so shiny! Maybe he had his scalp replaced by a mirror.

I have to wonder if theres some cultural mythos where the sun god (like Sól in Germanic mythology, or Helios in Greek) is a follicly challenged god who flies through the sky all day holding a light bulb behind his head.

Perhaps there is a mountain guru high in the Himalayas who's head is so shiny you can see it reflected off way up in Beijing.

Perhaps the earth actually rotates around a giant bald guy's head?