Quailzilla FRIDAY--Marsupial Mole

Well, my friends, due to some distress over the assumed disappearance of Quailzilla, I figured I'd allay your fears and bring you one today. They will not die out! Anyway.

This week's subject is, because you all know I love marsupials(okay so you didn't, but who cares?)--The Marsupial Mole! A mole which is actually a marsupial. And lives in Australia. Love Australia as well as marsupials. There're these confectioneries called 'Aussie Bites' that're wonderful...I have to wonder if they're made from the inhabitants. Getting side tracked. Back to marsupial moles.

First of all, I'll examine the non-horrific aspects, as I like to do that first for some reason.

1. Mole. Few people have ever been able to find anything scary about moles. They're just...moles.

2. Lightweight. Very easily thrown around, if you know what I mean. Usually around 3-6 ounces.

3. Endangered. Many species of marsupial mole are endangered. And so, that makes for not great numbers.

Now I found mostly scary aspects on the marsupial mole, so we'll look at those.

1. Diet. Anything that eats mainly beetle larvae and cossid caterpillars have got to be pretty nasty.

2. Claws. They have large, shovel-like front claws that are good for digging. And good for scooping your eyeballs out of your head! GAH!

3. Enigmatic. Very little is actually known about the marsupial mole, as it is rare and lives underground almost always. Spooooooky, huh?

4. Nocturnal. They live underground and don't like daylight. That's pretty good criteria for a monster's résumé.

5. Marsupial. It's a marsupial! There are marsupial frogs and marsupial mice, there used to be marsupial wolves and marsupial lions. I love marsupials. But they can be dangerous.

The Verdict:

Marsupial moles are scary creatures! If the apocalypse were to come, I'm quite sure they'd take over the world. I bet they have nuclear missle silos underneath Australia, just waiting to surface and blow everyone to kingdom come.